Google 4.7 stars? After queuing for this viral brunch spot in Jakarta, all I can say is…

Girls, take my advice! I was looking for a place to chill over the weekend and came across this place in Puri, Miss Marly, with a high Google rating of 4.7[1]. The pictures on Instagram looked so cozy, the vibes were immaculate.

But you know what happened? Anjay! I was stunned when I drove up to the entrance. The line was so long I thought it was some kind of fan meet-and-greet[2]. Alright, fine. For the food, I'll endure it!

Filter VS Reality

After a long wait, we finally got a table. The environment was indeed bright and clean, with a bit of a Korean homey vibe. BUT! The space is REA·LLY·small! The tables are super close to each other, I could hear the whispers of the couple at the next table crystal clear. It was too noisy to have a proper conversation. Want to take those peaceful and serene photos like the official ones? You'd have to rely on finding the right angle and photoshopping out all the random people... What's worse, fruit flies and mosquitoes from who-knows-where kept buzzing around us[3]. That instantly knocked 50 points off the experience.

Price Assassin, Mantap! 👍

Here comes the main event, let's talk about the food. I swear I came with high expectations!

My friend ordered the BLT Burger, which was 95k. When it arrived, we just looked at each other... OMG so mini! It wasn't even as big as my palm[4]. And the taste... it was just meh. My friend complained that the burger patty was a bit dry[5].

I ordered the Chicken and Waffles[6]. I was expecting it to be crispy on the outside and tender on the inside, but the fried chicken's crust was so hard it was like chewing on a rock, not"crispy" at all. Paired with the waffle and syrup, the whole thing was just cloyingly sweet. I felt sick of it after just two bites.

Not giving up, I saw it was recommended and added an order of their signature Grandma Ling's Noodle[7]. How to describe the taste... it's very polarizing. Personally, I think it's just a decent bowl of bakmi. It's tasty, but definitely not to the point where I'd wait in line for an hour to eat it.

My last hope was pinned on the dessert, the Hot Valrhona Skillet Cookie[8]. Hmm, the taste was OK. A warm cookie with ice cream can't go wrong. But it had the same problems: small portion size, and the sweetness was off the charts. It felt like eating a pure block of sugar, my teeth hurt.

Let's Have Some Real Talk

Overall, this meal left me a bit pissed off. Effort was put into the interior design, but it's completely not worth the price. The food prices are generally inflated, but the portion sizes and flavors don't match up. What I want to complain about the most is the service. They were stone-faced the whole time. I waved for ages and no one paid attention, I felt like an invisible person[9]. That 4.7 rating on Google? I seriously suspect it was faked...

A Guide to Avoiding the Pitfalls | Must-Read Before You Go

Alright, ranting aside, I should still give some tips. If you're really set on going to check it out, remember these points:

1. Do NOT go during peak hours on the weekend! The seating is pathetically limited, and the line is long enough to make you question your life choices. If you really want to go, go on a weekday to nongkrong.
2. Don't come in a big group! This place is only suitable for a date for 1-2 people. Any more than 3 people will feel cramped, and the experience is terrible[10].
3. Sweet tooths, order with caution! The desserts and specialty drinks are generally cloyingly sweet. You can try to be brave and say"kurangi gula" (less sugar) when you order[11].
4. Lower your expectations! Don't be fooled by the high rating. Just think of it as a small cafe that's only good for taking pictures. Don't have high hopes for the food or service, and you might have a better mindset.
5. Call ahead to confirm before you go! Some reviews say they sometimes close for private events without any notice[12]. Don't travel all the way there just to find the doors closed